quinta-feira, 5 de novembro de 2009

Violence Jack : Evil-Town part:1

Bem bem bem, muitos aqui no blog após verem a gablorréia que foi os "Amoladores de Vampiras Lésbicas que não pagam peitinho", se entraram numa massa clamando por violência, peitos, cerveja e mais violência...de preferência com gangues temáticas...
Pois bem...graças a um amigo que me mostrou um video do Iutubíl aonde viamos um monte de gente se matando...hey eu gosto de gente matando outros, bem a animação era bem antiga e datada e fui pesquisar...
...espera um pouco poxa é momento de história!ta bom ta bom vou acelerar essa parte...
Violence Jack é um mangá que sempre fazia histórias curtas e one-shot sobre um cara gigantesco num futuro apocaliptico que atava geral....e era só isso!
E sim isso é do tempo que o Japão ainda tinha testosterona.
Bem além do mangá foram criados três animações...mas naquele estilo Japônes de jogar a história andando sem te revelar porra nenhuma, ou seja material direto pro fã da HQ.
Não que isso seja ruim, Superman e Batman Inimigos públicos é assim e ficou bom, mas em algumas animações isso fica o cúmulo do tosco...como naquela do Rob Zombie que eu já falei.
E começa o Filme...Evil Town...e você diz "filha da puta baixei...er...loquei o filme errado!", mas espera que é o filme certo, Violence Jack tem três animações...dai acabou a população do Japão.
A História começa com uma tempestade no Japão, ou supunhetamos que é o Japão...mas não é dito isso...
E simplesmente com a tempestade as janelas começam a estourar e a cidade ruir...não que expliquem isso,mas a cena da população morrendo é bem feita e divertida....ahh esses Japoneses morrem dos jeitos mais engraçados^^
Depois de muitas tomadas de várias areas com gente morrendo...
Bom a tela escurece e agoravemos um casalsinho caminhando em ruínas cheias de baratas, aparentemente eles estão cansados do racionamento e roubaram um salame....tsc não podiamos esperar nada mais de um Gordo Escroto e de uma menina que parece um menino.
Como todo gordo porcão e guloso ele resolve distribuir o Salame 10% pra menina e 90% para ele, cara esses gordos me irritam¬¬, mas nem tudo é felicidade em Pigtown...
Um Policial aparece...e pela cara ele é obviamente um vilão!cacete não conseguiram esconder isso por 5 minutos...bom ele fala que eles estão violando a lei...
ao invés de fazer algo ele enrola até o Porcão ter uma idéia e mandar a garotinha apagar luz, na escuridão total fgindo...
Mas a menina não pode fugir...e além disso descobrimso que ela é um menino...o Policial decide não perseguir o Porcão pq o Mad irá cuidar disso...
E surge um bar de motoqueiros na cena!!!Cheio de punks com maquiagem e cabelos pintados.
E eis que surge o Porcão com o Salame de fora...sério quem não acha que ele vai se fuder nessa cena levante a mão, em meio as risadas e xingamentos...
...uma loirinha que assistiu o filme Laranja Mecânica(e vai se chamar Alex) sorri pra ele e depois atira uma faca comentando do seu salame.
Porcão leva seu Salame e dá ele para o mad em troca de proteção...como podemos ver o Mad estava se divertindo comendo baratas e....
A cena muda para um monte de gente com picaretas abrindo um buraco, o Policial aparece falando que o Mapa diz que ai é a saída...e finalmente entendemos que eles estão soterrados nas ruínas da cidade.Falando que as sombras estavam mexendo ele acha que tem uma entrada de ar em algum lugar...
E ASCENDE UM ISQUEIRO!!!!Má vá ser burro na puta que pariu!Nunca em construção ou em minas se ascende fogo quando se encontra entradas de ar...por favor sai dessa cena antes que ela seja mais imbecil..
Ótimo voltamos ao Porcão que entrega o Salame para o MAD que ri da cara dele o chamando de covarde...
E segue com a gangue inteira o espancando sistemátcamente...Adeus Porcão!!!!
Vai virar Salame também...que irônico...
Bem voltando á construção, eles não acharam a saída,mas apenas uma câmera com um cara enorme dentro dela.
O Policial coloca a mão em sua arma e pensa "será ele um inimigo<>
Mas antes que o Gigante possa responder, ou fazer um comentário sarcástico depois d euma pergunta cretina, eles houvem os bandidos do Setor B(ahh sim a gangue se chama Setor B) se aproximarem...
E surgem três motoqueiros!Sério se o problema é que os inimigos usam motoss...pq não simplesmente usam os escombros para bloquear os corredores?Não é como se pedras fossem difíceis de se encontrar...
A tropinha de três motoqueiros liderados pelo Coringa olha o Gigantesco Gigante,mas não se intimida...
E com um chute o Gigante faz o Coringa e sua Coringa-Bike voarem...sum ele deu um chute normal desses de cobrar penalti e o cara voou longe...
Aqui vemos que o Cara é realmente grande, já que ele esmaga o Coringa com um pé!
E aonde ele compra Sapatos?
Agradecidos e estarrecidos o resto dos homens o consideram um aliado, o Gigante fala que como eles o salvaram ele os ajuda agora, e o decidem levar para o Prefeito.
De volta ao Setor B, Mad esta enforcando um capanga por ele errar a maquiagem do KISS, ele também não está feliz pois agora existe um cara maior que ele no pedaço, mas Alex tem um plano, e para convencer o Mad começa a alisar seu membro...
temos um closed disso pra quem não viu.
E surge na tela um bando de crianças que além de capturarem uma baratas ensinam como comer elas e seus ovos,mas lembre-se: comer ovos de barata com pressa da dor de barriga.
Mas essa cena de miséria acaba quando Cartman aparece com dois ratos!!!E que alegria parece que o Natal chegou cedo esse ano^^
O gigante desfila perto das crianças, as impressionando, e o policial coloca mais pilha falando das prozas do Gigante...mas sério ele não parece um boneco de Olinda nessa cena?
Até o prefeito fica esbabacado com o tamanho do nosso herói!
Bem o Prefeito agora faz toda a exposição*limpo a garganta* A 6 meses houve um cataclisma, e nessas ruinas sobrou uma comunidade entre os mortos, que se dividiu em 3 setores: Setor A que é formado por empregados engravatados, Setor B que é uma Gangue Violenta, e o Setor C.
Como a comida era pouca, houve muita violência e os fortes mandavam e os fracos se escondiam pelos becos...isso até descobrirem que existia muuuiiitooo estoque de comida.
Pelos tempos serem perigosos, o Gigante puxa uma faca maior que o ego de um Argentino e diz que vai passar a se chamar Violence Jack, e com essa cena toda a testosterona fugiu do japão.
Vemos aMad começar com o plano da Alex e decide dar uma grande festa chamando tanto o setor A e C...em especial o C pq só tem mulheres lá(???), e eles invadem um dos armazéns roubando comida e bebidas.
Um informante diz para o chefe de polícia que o Setor B vai fazer...e essa foi a PORRA da cena anterior!
Cara por isso não suporto Anime, eles falam e falam três vezes o que esta acontecendo, e depois fazem uma cena cheia de luzes e metaforas e não a explicam...
Ou explicam como todos os cavaleiros de Bronze são irmãos e tem a mesma idade e mães diferentes...aliás eles não explicam muita coisa em CDZ,
Voltamso e vemos que os motoqueiros montaram um belo mercadinho...
E os Setores B e A se encontram e armam um empasse mexicano enquanto todos se encaram e trocam palavras sem importancia e deboches..
E chegam as meninas do Setor C, lideradas pela Polaris...e devem ter vindo de longe pq caminham por um bom tempo da película, elas entram no empasse mexicano e ficam trocando provocações e palavras com os outros dois setores.
Até que ela começa a contar provocar e aparentemente os homens do Setor A tem remorso, na segunda semana depois do terremoto, bem depois da segunda semana, o prefeito e o resto dos caras decididos a não morrer em vão dopam as meninas do setor C(que era uma agencia de modelos).
E em meio a poemas satânicos da Polaris dizendo que os homens usam máscaras e são covardes vemos inumeras cenas com mulheres desacordadas e peladas sendo estupradas...
E vemos PEITOS EM CLOSE!!!!
E o policial vilão segue para o estupro da Polaris...e na boa..ela estava andando por ai numa calcinha rosa transparente¬¬, e como o Policial sabe direito penal isso irá baixar um décimo da pena final.
Pra provar que ele é um cara legal ele começa lubrificando a Polaris...
E a desvigina!Ou usou aquele aparelho do filme seven que eram tiras de couro com uma faca na ponta d eum pênis...acho que foi o aparelho...afinal uma modelo virgem?Conte outra!
E segue a orgia revelando que após os estupros foi encontrado um monte de estoques de comidas e os homens voltaram a ser corajosos e pararam de volentar elas...e eu aind anão entend a relação:
sem comida= estupro = covardes.
com comida = sem estupro = corajosos.
Mas era tarde pq muitas mulheres já haviam sido mortas(???)...ta vamos entender que sacrificavam elas pra elas não comerem.
Terminando a segunda exposição do desenho, Polaris diz que pode comprar o Violence Jack(as vezes esqueço que ele está no desenho), usando suas jóias(que são completamente inúteis numa sociedade de subsistência)
Jack como se comoveu com a história diz que vai por vontade própria...afinal é o único grupo com mulheres.
E estamso em thermicha...francamente pq o grupo de mulheres aparece como o único que trabalhou nesse meio tempo...os Motoqueiros tudo bem,mas pq o lado dos homens ta uma merda?
Viu...elas tem até uma arvorezinha...
Enquanto a Polaris fala mais das mulheres, inclusive falando que como eram modelos elas já comiam pouco e isso é útil(???), vemos uma sociedade só possível em desenhos...já que todos sabemos que mulheres não podem conviver sozinhas, Jack se enche de tesão olhando as menininhas que vai transar...
Mas antes que ele possa fazer qualquer coisa, a Polaris o leva pra mostrar que elas tb estão cavando para a superfície...polaris sua empata foda!Bem apesar de parecer a Olga a montro, a menina de cabelo azul não consegue mais quebrar a parede com a parede.
Mas Jack desconta sua frustação sexual ESMURRANDO A PAREDE! até ela desabar, Polaris então fala para revelar isso para todos os setores e todos podem sair das ruínas e viverem felizes com coelinhos e arco-íris, mesmo o Setor B^^
Que por falar nisso ataca o Setor A...pelo motivo de ser Segunda-feira.
Ora é um bom motivo...
Mad obviamente está liderando o ataque...em pé sobre o sidecar da Moto de Alex...digam o que quiser,mas isso e foda!Os motoqueiros apesar de levar um sacode seguem com o ataque...o que me faz perguntar pq nunca fizeram isso antes-_-'
Há...que humilhação..ser morto por um cara de calças de ciclista.
Cartman decide que não irá deixar seus amigos na mão e berra Respect my autoritha!!!!"
E alguém faz um gol com a cabeça dele.Crianças...lembrem-se antes dos 13 anos se vocês forem gordos vocês são inúteis^^
Mas Janine chegou para proteger as crianças enquanto os caça-fantasmas salvam o setor A!
Yeeepyyy
Opa erro meu, a Janine odeia crianças e as está matando.
E aparentemente mata um anão que estava com as crianças...ou era a criança mais feia do mundo, então essa morte foi justificada.
Depois era a vez de Harry Potter morrer
E por ultimo ela acerta uma criança que começa a iluminar enquanto é cortada...elça é a filha do Capitão Átomo?
Ela alcançoou o sétimo sentido?
Os Japas avacalham nos efeitos?
Mad com toda sua fúria chega até o Prefeito....abrindo um burraco na parede com a MOTO!!!
Ta...sabemos que ele é fudido, sabemos que o Jack abriu a soco concreto...mas como a moto aguentou derrubar uma parede?

Jack diz que elas podem sair livres, mas uma vadia vem dizer que o Setor B esta atacando o Setor A(má que porra acabamos de ver isso!)
Polaris fala que eles podem finalmente sair...e Jack sai ao resgate!!!

E aqui terminamos por hoje crianças^^
Será que o Jack Salvará o setor A?
Será que as meninas irão fugir?
Teremos mais cenas de sexo ou de matança?
Não percam a explosiva continuação nesse mesmo Jack-Blog, nesse mesmo Jack-hora!

Bem na verdade vou postar a parte dois em 3 ou 4 dias..

65 comentários:

Vini Viking disse...

Hokuto no Ken com peitos! :D

Avalanche(Lance) disse...

E sem filosofia \o/

łiv disse...

essas tais "calças de ciclista" são deprimentes...que bom que os guris ficaram implicados nos peitinhos...parecem mais animados...^^

e estupro não existe, é uma lenda humana sobre as mulheres que gostam de se fazer...as mesmas que acham que vc deve sustentá-las e que ser mãe é uma dádiva feminina...e blá blá...etc

se vcs quiserem conhecer uma mulher de verdade, procurem saber mais de Marion Ravenwood...

łiv disse...

ah... e é claro que eu não me responsabilizo por tudo que eu digo... principalmente quando brinco com meus amigos...

então vão se ferrar, os que me retrucarem... valeu (Y

Kya disse...

Mataram a criança mais feia do mundo... T_T
Mataram a menina da luz interior... T_T
Mataram o Harry Potter... T_T
...
...
Pera... Mataram o Harry Potter??? OO
AWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... \*o*/

darksmile disse...

Aeeeeeee....violence Jack é dos bons!!
Mensagens de amizade....hahaha.MORRAM \O/

Ororo disse...

Além de loucos são necrofilos!
Uau!

evil monkey disse...

e...uau.
...
...
...
fiquei sem palavras...
...
hã...
...
foi...é....umh...legal!?
...
como nasceu uma arvore se eles estavam nos escombros?
será que havia uma conveniente luz exatamente sobre a arvore?
como eles conseguiam gasolina em um lugar como aquele?
porque eu não estou surpreso de japoneses de terno terem dopado e estuprado supermodelos?
e em um dia os motoqueiros fazem uma festa e no outro ta tendo uma guerra doida?
e como havia uma escada rolante em funcionamento embaixo de um lugar destruído?

Avalanche(Lance) disse...

Deviam ter memso feito um filme da Marion...aliás ea acaba tento mais background que o Indiana Jones O.o


E na boa?
Eu me pergunto como eles têm tanta água e energia....daonde vem a luz?

Nãos ei como é o Japão,mas parece que tudo se passa em meio á tuneis subterrâneos que uniam shoppings e prédios.

Avalanche(Lance) disse...

Um grande mérito desse desenho...as crianças chatas da história são mortas.


Não como aquela merda de Terminator 4 aonde sobrevive uma criança e uma senhora chata enquanto todos as pessoas uteis e saudaveis morrem.

Tagros disse...

Aahhhh, muito longo... e é só 1/3! - Me empresta logo essa porra

Amer H. disse...

Lance, onde você descolou Violence Jack com imagem tão boa?

Vago há anos procurando essa merda e nunca consegui.

Avalanche(Lance) disse...

Minha nssa o Amer aqui...oque eu faço o que eu faço?

*correndo em circulos*

Er...eu escrevi "violence Jack" no google...

hehe mas sério procurei pelo megaupload mesmo:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=XUDFH3QY

E Tiago, não é por falta de convite que tu não vê metade das coisas legais que eu descolo.

Anônimo disse...

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